Toxic Thoughts

Happy New Year my friends! Crazy to even say that we are already in the second week of the new year. Today I don't want talk about me. I want to start a new "series" on how to control your thoughts. Now I did not come up with this but rather I went through it. When I was going through my spirals of negative thoughts I came across a video by Jennie Allen. It is all about taking your thoughts captive.

So let's dig in. Did you know that you are not your thoughts and that you have much more control over them than you think? Romans 12:2 tells us to renew our minds so that we can be transformed. Now how do we renew our minds, or change our course of thinking. It is not easy, let me tell you. It takes intentionality, focus, and really wanting God to change you. You have to be willing to let go of the control, coming to him with an open and honest heart.

I struggled with my thoughts. I was literally obsessing over every single thing my husband would do. And not because I was so in love, but because I didn't trust him. I had my walls completely up and I wouldn't dare allow him to break me again. So I obsessed, overly observed, and walked on tippey toes. It felt like I was just always looking over my shoulders waiting for something to happen. And THAT is no way to live. It is exhausting, especially as a mom with two toddlers, I couldn't give them my full self. Because in the midst of playing toys with them, in the back of my head I was thinking "he's probably messaging someone because I am in another room" such a horrible, toxic mindset to have. 

Thats when I threw in the flag. I told God, I can't anymore. I don't want to live this way, he is my husband and I should be able to trust him and love him. I am tired and I just give this all to you Lord. Lord you are my refuge, my saving grace, I know that you can heal my marriage and I give you that control. 

What is it that you are overly obsessing about? Is there one negative thought that you think about constantly that sends you down a spiral? What circumstances are currently happening in your life that you are walking on tippey toes? If there is a darkness you are currently going through, please, give it to God. Pray and say "Lord please take control if this situation, give me the strength, the guidance, your love and comfort to take a step in the direction you want me to take" Giving up control is not easy. This is the Bible verse that I had in my notebook, it stayed next to my stove where I saw it multiple times a day. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your understanding, but in all your ways submit to him and he shall direct your paths. 

"Do not lean on your own understanding" we're human and it is so easy to base everything off of what we see with our own eyes, and what we feel. But what we dont know is what God is doing. We often don't choose our circumstances, but how we respond to them is huge. Will you allow God to take the wheel? Or will you submit to him in all your ways, so that your paths are directed by our almighty God. He wants us to live a life of love, joy, grace, healing, and so much more. But most importantly, he wants our attention. He wants you to put him first in all your ways. He didnt send Jesus to die on the cross fully so that you can only give him half of you, he wants all of you. And that is the greatest gift to receive.